Professional Chaser

I haven’t made it to the gym this year. Looking for someone to surprise me at gunpoint 3 times a week and chase me for 30 minutes at a time. Will pay you (Venmo) $80 per week and benefits include PTO, full dental insurance, and mental health coverage. Masters degree or 3 years equivalent experience required. Bilingual is a plus because I’m white and naturally triggered by foreign languages. Only apply if you’ve got a proven “track” record and a passion for chasing. Also include 3 professional references who I will most certainty contact. Background check and drug testing N/A.

As an Unequal Opportunity Employer I will discriminate on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, veteran status or any other basis covered by appropriate law. All employment is decided on the basis of qualifications, merit, and ability to chase.

Thank you for your interest!